Benji Xavier lost 100 pounds in just over a year by giving up fad diets. He has maintained his weight for nearly two years by finding balance, including preparing healthier home-cooked meals and leading a more active lifestyle.
Xavier, 28, who lives in New Jersey, previously lost 100 pounds in high school by cutting his calories very low and leaving out certain foods, but he put the weight back on in college. He told Business Insider that his methods were “unsustainable” and left him with an unhealthy relationship with food.
His experience reflects how restrictive diets don’t equate to long-term weight loss. Nearly one-fifth of Americans were on a diet on any given day between 2015 and 2018, according to the most recent CDC data, and the U.S. diet industry was estimated to be over $70 billion in 2023. Yet more than 40% of Americans are obese, according to US government data collected between 2017 and 2018.
Xavier said that when he tried restrictive diets like these, he had constant mental battles about food, what’s known as “food noise,” which can make dieting feel almost impossible.
“As a foodie, when you become so restrictive in hopes of losing weight or keeping it off, you become obsessed with food,” Xavier said. “I felt miserable all the time.”
In August 2021, Xavier went on vacation and struggled to find clothes that fit on a shopping trip. He weighed 282 pounds and said he felt “conscious all the time.”
That’s when he decided to embark on a second weight loss journey, but this time with his health and fitness in focus.
“My mindset started to change because I’m like, I’m getting older, I need to be healthy. It’s not just about looks and being thin,” he said.
Xavier started cooking healthier versions of his favorite meals at home, meal prepping and exercising regularly. Over time, these healthy habits became a new and sustainable lifestyle that has helped Xavier maintain his weight and feel better in all aspects of his life, he said. His upcoming cookbook, “Rebel diet”, contains the recipes he used to lose weight.
He shared the two main lessons he learned on his weight loss journey.
Xavier, pictured before his weight loss, has kept it off by making healthy lifestyle changes. Benji Xavier
Focus on small moments
Xavier said focusing on goals and small points helped him stay motivated, while fixating on the end goal led to overachievement. This left him feeling discouraged when life got in the way and he didn’t reach his goal as quickly as he had planned.
“If I were to sit here and think I have to lose 100 pounds, that’s too much. You don’t want to do that,” he said. “It takes time to achieve your goals and you achieve them step by step, not all at once.”
He added: “Just take it day by day, week by week.”
Xavier found it helpful to focus on losing two pounds a week. This is in line with what the CDC recommends.
An all or nothing attitude is not helpful
Before, if Xavier cut his healthy habits for a meal or two, he would feel intense guilt and worry that he would have ruined all his progress. This meant that he would abandon his goal until the next day or week.
“It’s like this vicious cycle that keeps repeating because of the all-or-nothing mentality,” he said.
Through his sustainable weight loss journey, he’s learned that if you “fall off the wagon” or eat a “cheat meal,” not only will it not diminish everything you’ve accomplished before, but it doesn’t mean you’re suddenly will gain all the weight back, he said.
He also now gives himself grace when he indulges in less healthy meals because he knows that most of the time he is eating a balanced diet, which is what counts.
This approach is sometimes called the 80/20 rule and is endorsed by nutritionists as a sustainable approach to both weight loss and overall health.
